Beneath the make-up and behind the smile, I'm just a girl who wishes for the world.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Parent to a ONE year old!

Sebastian turned ONE on August 20th, and I still can't believe it. This year has had many ups and downs, and I cannot believe how much this little baby boy has grown! 


He's now over 25lbs and 30 inches and almost walking! He'll stand on his own and take a couple steps, but that's about it. He drops down and speeds away on his knees. He hasn't quite figured out that he can go even faster if he stayed on his feet. haha! 

We had a big party on the 21st, instead of multiple little parties to celebrate his birthday. We had family and friends over for a few hours, and we even had a bounce house! It was so much fun. Sebastian could have spent the whole party in that bounce house and he would have been completely content. hahah! 


We had the cutest little cake for him. It was a little bee, since that was his theme. 


And of course, he loved it! 


He was a big fan of all of his gifts, and plays with everything daily. I am one lucky Mom, because he is one of the most chill and perfect little boys. I'm sure someday he'll test my limits and heart, but in the meantime I'll just enjoy every moment with this sweet angelic little boy. 


This has been another wild whisper, just for you.

God doesn't give you more then you can handle.

You all know what happened a couple weeks after having my son, there's a blog post about that so I felt like I definitely needed to update everyone. About 8 months after what happened, I had another episode. The doctors came back and officially diagnosed me with Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

What is MS? MS is a disease where the immune system attacks the central nervous system, causing internal scar tissue and nerve damage. When the nerves are damaged, it disrupts the body's ability to send signals from one part of the central nervous system to another, causing MS symptoms. You can find tons of information on MS at http://www.nationalmssociety.org/. It's a great website.

What are "symptoms, episodes, attacks, relapses"? MS symptoms vary widely from person to person. Some people face mobility issues, vision issues, strength weakening, etc. What are some things I face? A big symptom people with MS deal with including myself is fatigue. My body is constantly in a state of fatigue which can make everyday activities harder then they should be, however I have the ability to still to push through. Some other symptoms that I have are headaches, occasional insomnia, heat intolerance, pins and needles in my left wrist & forearm, and occasional anxiety. Some symptoms go away as lesion become inactive, which has happened to me. During my relapse, which can also be called an attack, new lesions either from or old lesions progress and are "active". This can cause symptoms to flare up, or new symptoms to occur. I've also experienced dizziness, double vision, blurry vision and dimmed vision. Thankfully those have all gone back to normal.

Is there anything that can be done about it? Yes! There are many many people researching how to eliminate MS all together which is great. And while they work on that they have come out with 10 different types of medication available to help MS in different ways. There are Immunesuppressors, and immunomodulators. An immunomodulator is any substance that helps to regulate the immune system. This "regulation" is a normalisation process, so that an immunomodulator helps to optimise immune response. And immune suppressors do exactly what it sounds, it suppresses the immune system so there are less fighting cells in the body to attack itself. The side effects of MS medication are a bit scary so there is a lot of thought put into deciding which medication someone is comfortable with. There are IV treatments, oral medication, and injections. Injections tend to be the safest and with the least amount of side effects. Oral medications are the most risky, and require routine blood work because it can cause chaos inside the body. I personally after talking over everything with my doctors office and husband have decided on an injection called Copaxone. I am currently one week in and have a lot of hope that it will work and stop MS in it's tracks. My doctors are very confident in that as well. Copaxone is an immunomodulator, so it will not suppress my immune system but it does cause it to be less than it normally is. It is also an injection that just goes under the skin into the fatty tissue and not muscular, so that causes it to be much less painful and the side effects to be much less likely.

Does everyone with MS become disabled? No. It is something that happens though, and many people live out their lives without becoming bed ridden or needing to use a wheel chair. MS is technically a disability, however many people with MS continue to live their lives normally. You may not even be able to tell someone has MS when they do. MS is a big disease that is often invisible to the outside viewer.

When I first was diagnosed I really wanted to stay in the denial part, but I forced myself to face this disease head on and do as much as I could to help my life be as normal as possible for as long as possible. A lot of people with MS become depressed and I learned that shortly after reading up about this disease. I have decided to stay on top of it with routine MRI scans with my doctor and to keep up on my medication. I have also changed up my diet and will be trying to do as much exercising as my body with allow with my fatigue that I experience daily. Staying positive only helps me more each and every day. And I hope my positivity will help others battling this disease along with me.

If you have any questions or know someone struggling, feel free to share my blog or comment below with your questions/well wishes. It is definitely appreciated.

This has been another wild whisper, just for you.

Friday, April 29, 2016

The Journey Continued...

Well, it's been 8 months now, and somedays I can't even believe it. It feels like last month we brought home our son, when in reality it was over 8 months ago. He's such a good kid, and I cannot wait to see the person he becomes as he grows. 

While I was pregnant with Bastian, I had decided that I was going to kick my butt into gear again. Before we had gotten pregnant I was on a diet and had lost almost 60lbs. When we decided to start trying, I went off the diet program and ended up gaining everything back over the 4 months we were trying to conceive. It made me mad, but I used that anger as motivation. 


During my pregnancy I gained 22lbs. Which wasn't too bad. I was really proud of myself, I ate very healthy and tried to stay hydrated as best I can (without giving into those delicious desserts and cravings). When Bastian was born, I instantly lost everything I had gained with him. It was all baby weight. Woo! Then over the past 8 months I have slowly tried to lose weight. I am officially down 58lbs which is where I was before we had started trying to have our son. I've still got a long way to go and I know it's going to take time because I want to do it slowly. Why do I want to do it slowly? I don't want to shock my body. I want the weight to stay off, and I want to actually change my lifestyle and eating habits for the long run instead of just a quick fix. I've done quick fixes before, and they never work in the long run. This time will be different. My short term goal is to lose 65 more pounds. Then, I will reevaluate everything and see where I am. Long term, I just want to feel happy and healthy, not only for myself but for my family. And I know it's possible. 


I have a huge support system with friends and family. I couldn't ask for better people to be able to turn to when I want to celebrate my little victories. I can't wait to see where this journey leads me. Hopefully to a new mind & body of feeling happy and healthy.


This has been another Wild Whisper, just for you... 

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Remember me?

Yeah, it's been six months! I can't believe I haven't posted. Actually I can, but still rereading my stuff I should have definitely been updating this! So much has gone on in my life! 

First off, I'm still a stay at home mom, and I love it. Seriously, who needs adult time? Within the past 6 months I've managed to work out a great routine of having the house spotless and chores done all the while having a happy baby. Well, about that awesome routine? Yeah, it's about to change and I know it. Little man is SEVEN months old and moving around all over the place. He's not quite full blown crawling, but he's almost there. He's got the army crawl down pat. 



Some more on this little boy, we still don't have teeth but he sure does love his solid food! We haven't ventured into too many varieties, but Bastian loves; avocados, sweet potatoes, chicken, beef, apples, and pears! He absolutely loves going places, but doesn't enjoy being restricted in his car seat. Silly boy. He's a whopping 22lbs 8oz and 28 inches long. And we've already had our first freak out! Little man wiggled, rolled, and crawled his way over to the little gap between the recliner and couch (to get to the computer cords since he knows he isn't allowed to have them) and ended up getting his arm rocked on for a second. Scared me to death, but he's completely fine! That was yesterday, and it's as if it never even happened. Goodness. I'm going to have my hands full once he's more mobile... which will happen any day now! :) 

Other then that, I've joined up with Usborne Books & More! So far I've already met my first goal, which is exciting. It's been a month now and I am still loving this company. So many great incentives and bonuses for the consultants, and I never have to worry about selling a certain amount to stay active with the company. Not to mention, I looooove their books! We've already got a selection growing and even though Sebastian is only 7 months old, he's really loving them too. 

I'll just keep this update short and sweet... because Bastian's tired of playing by himself. So time for Mama to get down and play too! :)

This has been another Wild Whisper, just for you...

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

First of many proud moments.... and a month old!

Last night was the first night since I've been home from being hospitalized that I was able to take care of Sebastian by myself. Did you read that?! I said, by myself! Alone! 

This is a huge deal for me, because I hate having to rely on help. Which is terrible and given my schooling I should know better. But I'm more of a helper. I like to do the helping, not get helped. I have that on my list of things I need to learn to accept. However, in the meantime I'm going to toot my own horn! 

Last night once Sam went to bed, I stayed up with Sebastian until he finally dozed off. This was around midnight. Then he slept for FOUR hours. Solid. I couldn't believe it. Mainly because the previous two nights were rough. He was fussy and just could NOT get comfortable. One minute he wanted his swaddler off, the next he wanted it on. He couldn't make up his poor little baby boy mind. And there was nothing we could do to comfort him.  Around 4am he was up again, which I was shocked that it had been four hours. So up I went, and after a change and bottle, we were rocking and singing back to sleep. He actually drifted off faster then expected which was great. Once he was down, I of course could not fall asleep unlike my son. About an hour later I finally drift off. So from around 5am to 9am I was able to get a few more hours in! Woo!!! Then we were up for the day! It was a successful night. And Sam got a good nights sleep to recoop from the two previous crappy nights. I'm sure his work will appreciate a happier worker. 

Hopefully it's not a fluke and it just continues on. With me getting sick, our night time rituals got all switched around. Sebastian is used to the pack n play to fall asleep in. Soon I'd like to get him transitioned back into his room and into his crib, but for now I know that's going to take some time. And after my ill spell, I know I have all the time in the world. :) 

And onto other news... I HAVE A MONTH OLD CHILD. 

I cannot believe Sebastian is a month old already. On September 20th, he turned one month. ONE MONTH. I swear, I was showing the positive test to Sam yesterday. This whole year has flown by and it's been crazy. Crazy wonderful. I can't get over my baby boy. He's the cutest thing in the world. He just is. *swoon* 



This has been another Wild Whisper, just for you...