Welcome to the world Little Man.

Twenty-One Hours of Labor.

One Epidural.

Twenty-One Pushes.

One Screaming Baby Boy.

A Birth Story

- August 19th, 2015 - 

I started having contractions around noon. They stabilized at 10 minutes apart. I went ahead and texted Sam about the contractions since we had plans that night to go to the movie theater and see the film 'No Escape'. One of the local movie theaters was having a special that if you were a rewards card member with them, that you could see the new movie for free, not to mention the theater was across the street from our hospital. We love free, who doesn't? From noon-6:30pm, the contractions stayed the same so we decided to go ahead and see the movie. Well, during the movie the contractions decided to go ahead and start getting closer. From 8-9pm they were consistently 5 minutes apart. Our birthing classes had taught us that we needed to go into the hospital when either of two things happened: my water broke or I started having contractions 5 minutes apart for a solid hour. 

After the movie we decided to head over to the hospital since it was across the street just to see what they would say. When we got there they admitted us to the triage part. We were there from 9pm to 2:30am. While we were there they monitored my blood pressure, my contractions, and the babies heartbeat. Sebastian was constantly fine, the contractions started to slow down, but my blood pressure decided to grow higher and higher. Most likely because I couldn't calm myself down from nervousness about possibly giving birth soon. When the contractions went from 5 minutes apart to 6-7, the on-call doctor told the nurse to have me walk around for a solid hour and to see where my contractions were. After walking around for an hour, my contractions were back to 5 minutes and lessening. Not to mention, they became more and more intense with every contraction. My blood pressure also had not lowered, which worried everyone helping me at the hospital. I've never had a problem with blood pressure, but I've also known people with blood pressure problems and knew the numbers they were telling me were elevated but not crazy high like they were making them seem. My blood pressure during triage was 150s, the highest it got to was 160s because they kept mentioned me stroking out which no matter how much I told myself I wouldn't do, it still freaked me out. Especially since I was still pregnant, so it wasn't just me it would harm. I was also checked three times to see how dilated I was, and it progressed from 2cm to 3cm before leaving triage.

The on-call doctor decided to admit me, so off the Labor and Delivery we went at 2:30am. Not only was I nervous, but now I was exhausted since I hadn't had any rest. Once we were in our room I was set up with monitors wrapped around my stomach again to keep track of the baby and my contractions. The pain wasn't too bad, it was there, but not enough to need any medication at this point. My goal was no medication, but if it got too bad I was definitely open for it. As a last resort. We decided to go ahead and contact my Mom who I wanted with me the whole time with my husband. She had a three hour drive, so I knew she needed to know right away once we actually got admitted. The on-call doctor went ahead and ordered me a cervical pill which should help thin my cervix out. They did another dilation check after I was all settled before the pill and I was still at 3cm, and only about 30% effaced. The pill takes an hour to work it's magic. Once that hour was over they did check me again, resulting in 4cm dilation and 50% effaced. So they decided to start pitocen (which is a induction drug to get my contractions moving along faster and harder). 

- August 20th, 2015 - 

Around 8am they contacted my actual doctor to let him know I was in labor at the hospital. Unfortunately, he was the doctor on-call for the day at the other hospital which was just down the road so he wouldn't be able to make it over. The other hospital was crazy busy with deliveries. I was stuck with the on-call doctor at my hospital, whom couldn't get over the blood pressure and stroking bit. Before 8am though, my mother did arrive, and we had gotten ahold of my Dad and he had arrived as well. I wasn't really expecting my Dad to arrive, but once he was there I was a lot more comfortable, just with his medical background. He immediately assured me that I was not going to stroke out from my blood pressure. 

The pitocen was doing it's job. When I got to 6cm dilated and 80% effaced, things started getting too rough. The pain was too intense for me to handle and I broke down and ordered an epidural. I was glad I made it as far as I did, once I had dilated to 4cm they had let me know I could have an epidural at any time. The epidural took such a long time to get, felt like at least an hour, but I do know that pain makes time stand still. I'm not quite sure how long it took the anesthesiologist to arrive, but once he did he got to work. Once it was in, the pain slowly dwindled away. Unfortunately, it didn't take exactly how it was supposed to, or for how long it was supposed to. It did work perfectly for a couple hours, which allowed me to get some sleep in. (I couldn't believe I actually fell asleep!)  

When I woke up, I was starting to get close. I was 8cm dilated and completely effaced. I started feeling the sharpness of the contractions on my left side, but that was still a lot more tolerable then how they were full force without any relief. After a little while longer, I felt so much pressure down below like he was already coming out. The contractions were very strong now and I could barely hold back the urge to push. I let the nurse know, she checked and he was there. The words she said I'll never forget. "Oh yeah, I can feel hair!" She went ahead and got a hold of the doctor, which was the same on-call one I had the whole time. Once she arrived everything started. I was propped up a little, I reached down to the handle bars, and the pushing began. Sam on one side, my Mom on the other. I pretty much kept my eyes closed the whole time, I couldn't really concentrate on any one thing or item because I could barely hold my breath and push for a solid 10 seconds. I was instructed to push three times, each time was for 10 seconds. Little by little, he moved his way down. 

Eventually on the 21st push, when I thought I just couldn't do it anymore and everyone was telling me he was "so close", he came. The big relief they tell you about, is real. As soon as he was out, it felt so much better. The burn and pain was gone, for a few seconds. I wish I could say that as soon as he's on your chest that everything else goes away, but that's not how it was for me. The doctor had started working the placenta out, pushing down on my outer stomach to detach it from the uterus and get it out. Once it was out, that felt better because she stopped pushing on me, but that's not where the pain stopped. I tried to keep my focus on the screaming baby boy on my chest as much as I could. He looked perfect. A little grey, but perfect. I could tell my husband and mother were just beaming, so if I had to concentrate on myself I could. Which, I did. As soon as they took him off my chest to get the official weigh and other tests, the pain started back up. The epidural was long wore off, and I tore bad. Not the worst, but enough to need stitches and numbing. Unfortunately, the numbing kept wearing off fast, so I could feel almost every stitch towards the end. It was like fire. I honestly thought it was worse then the contractions in that moment. 

They announced to everyone his weight. Sebastian was 9lbs 6oz. BIG boy!!! We were all expecting someone in the 8lb range, not 9. All his apgar scores came back the highest they could. His body was 21.5 inches long, his head 14.25in and chest 14.5inches. No wonder it took 21 pushes! Born at 6:04pm. 

After he was all bundled up and I got him for a while, we tried breastfeeding and found out that he's a great latch along with very strong. He had his eyes open, looking all over the place and he wouldn't stop lifting his head up to get a better view. We were all shocked at his strength. Guess I ate some pretty good food to strengthen him up while he was growing! (I did eat a pretty good diet of fruits, protein, and lots of veggies.) Since the epidural ran out earlier then expected, I could feel my legs a lot faster which came in handy because after about an hour after delivery I REALLY had to go to the bathroom. They had only emptied my bladder once with the epidural. The transferring nurse from delivery to post-pardum was amazing, Tina. She helped me into the bathroom and as shocked that I could pretty much walk on my own. I did allow her to "help" me though, just for her own comfort. They had me use a spray like bottle while I went to the bathroom to help dilute my urine so it didn't burn with the stitches. Thankfully that worked and it wasn't painful, just a big relief! After seeing all the blood and trying not to freak out, I got all diapered up (felt like a diaper with how big the pads were!) and got wheeled back out in a wheel chair into the room. I got to sit in the wheel chair while everyone else got situated for the move to the smaller room to finish recovery. 

Things started getting better and better once we made it to the recovery room. The nurses were great during our 2 day stay and our food was amazing. Compared to what I had just gone through, everything was a breeze. I could easily get up and move around the room, it was sore but in my mind nothing compared to delivery. The bleeding worried me a little, but after being reassured it was completely normal I just went with it. That first night in recovery I got to put my own shorter nightgown on, but used their underwear (which is amazing! Get all you can!). That first night was great. Sebastian slept almost the whole night. It was obvious had had a pretty rough day. Ha! 

- August 21st, 2015 - 

The next day he was still sleepy, but a little more alert. The nurses were going gaga over him, which felt great. I'm biased of course but he's the most gorgeous baby I've ever seen. He is just perfect. Other then taking ibuprofen and getting my uterus checked, nothing major happened on day two. We had family visitors which was great, so much love was in our room. That night however we did end up letting the nurse take him to the nursery because he only wanted held and both Mom and Dad really needed some sleep. He stayed in the nursery a good 5-6 hours, completely content and happy.

- August 22nd, 2015 - 

Day three started with feeding, which was starting to get sore. The lactation specialist came by and did say he had what looked like a great latch, so I didn't worry to much. I kept telling myself I just had to get used to it. Today we had a few friends stop on by to see, which was fun! Sebastian liked being passed from person to person but always loved ending back on either Mommy or Daddy. :) Day three was our go home day, so Sebastian got to wear his batman outfit with cape. 

The ride home wasn't bad, Sebastian slept the whole time. I sat in the back with him, watching the whole time even though he was completely fine and happy. 

- Home - 

While we've been home, things have been great and rough at the same time. Healing as been a process but I'm grateful with how fast it's going. Sebastian sleeps a lot, eats a lot, and then really likes being held at night. Hopefully as he gets a little older he'll become more comfortable with his crib and stay asleep in there longer. I've continued to breastfeed, but I ran into a few bumps along the way. Come the fourth day I was very very sore. To the point where it was too painful to have him feed directly off of me, I had to start pumping instead. Thankfully our pump could get some stuff out, just not a lot. So we started supplementing to help keep him full and comfortable. 

By day five we had our first appointment with our pediatrician and Sebastian had only lost 2 ounces since leaving the hospital on Saturday. He encouraged full breastfeeding but in the meantime said to keep doing what we were doing because it was good to do. As long as he starts gaining weight then he's eating enough. 

He has so many faces, and I'm definitely one of those Moms that takes LOTS of pictures. I just can't help it, he's the most precious baby in the world. 

We are definitely cherishing every moment. 

This has been another Wild Whisper, just for you.

It's almost time!

Well, last time I updated this poor blog was waaaay back in April when I announced that I had graduated from school and Sam and I were pregnant! *queue the cheering* 

Now for the update: still pregnant! *queue more cheering* 

Yesterday I hit the 38 week mark, so it's definitely getting down to the wire. In fact, I'm having a little contraction as I type. (Whoa right!?) Don't worry, they aren't too regulated yet. Not to the point where I'm called Sam and saying, "IT'S TIME!" 

It's to the point though where we are so excited for this little man's arrival that he could come a little early and we'd be COMPLETELY okay with that. Like, totally okay. I have an appointment to get an ultrasound to check his size tomorrow, that should be interesting. About a month ago around 34 weeks I had what they call a 'growth' scan to see how far he's progressing and Sebastian was 6lbs 6oz, estimated. They did warn it's just a guess and could be up to a lb off, in either direction. (I'm hoping for the lesser direction!)

Oh, I just realized. I said his name, without a formal introduction. :) Let me introduce you to Sebastian Joseph Wayne. 

Now that that has been done, I can talk more about him. At 28 weeks I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Not a huge deal, I had honestly been expecting. With a few diet changes and the help of some medicine, it's completely controlled. Which has been a relief. Anyway, back to where I was earlier. Growth scans. We're having our last one, I'm guessing last since I'm 38 weeks, tomorrow. I'm keeping my fingers, toes, arms, legs crossed that he isn't over 8lbs. I have a feeling if he is, they'll want to induce. Which... I wouldn't quite be so objective too as long as he's measuring larger because then even if they are wrong they shouldn't be off by too much.

With my size, and how much this boy has been sticking his butt out, I know he's not going to be a small one. And with how active he's been... crazy thing probably has a crazy amount of muscles. 

Sebastian seriously moves ALL THE TIME. Which, has been a love/hate thing. Love knowing he's moving and okay. Hate feeling like a punching bag. Ha! But... seriously. I can't wait to fall asleep on my stomach again. It's going to feel like heaven. I just know it.

What else has been going on? Eh, nothing. I joined an awesome Mommy's co-op online. The ladies are AWESOME and so nice. Not to mention they really can snag some awesome deals. We're planning on cloth diapering, at least after he gets out of his newborn disposables and when we're at home, since I'm staying at home for a little while. Save up some money and they are just too stinking cute! We'll see how it goes. :)

Well, not sure what else to update on this time around. Maybe tomorrow I'll do a food blog, I haven't done one of those for a while, especially since we're trying something new tonight.

This has been another Wild Whisper, just for you.

How about an update?

It has been entirely too long since I've updated this blog. My life has gotten away from me, but not necessarily in a bad way. I shall elaborate:

I have completed Graduate school. It wasn't under the best circumstances, but I did it! And I'm receiving honors later this month because of my grades. I graduate with my Masters in Psychology, which wasn't exactly as planned but it's better then nothing, right? It is shocking how unprofessional adults in the psychology field can be, and probably other fields in higher education as well. I just noticed it more because I was being dealt nasty cards. What have I learned? That if you're going to challenge someone with a superiority complex, stand your ground even if it kicks you down. I stood my ground and I don't regret anything. I was kicked, punched, and thrown out, but in the end I can hold my head up high and show them that they made the mistake of trying to boot out an honors student that is in the top of her class. 

**I've also been advised not to speak of the things they did to me, but come on, seriously? After being harassed to take a lesser degree, do you really feel like I should stay quiet? No. I will however say that if you're looking into a human services degree and you see warning signs or feel them, transfer. Get out of that school as fast as possible, that way you don't go through what I did. No one should feel bullied by adults in control, especially when you're paying to make yourself a better person by going through higher education. 

Alright, now that that is updated, moving onto greener pastures. I'm pregnant! Sam and I had been trying for four months to get pregnant, and then bam, Christmas hits and we find out we're expecting! Of course, I wanted to get pregnant faster that way we could announce at Christmas, but that didn't happen. We made our announcement on Valentine's Day, which was just as wonderful. I am now 19 weeks along and it's been a pretty smooth pregnancy. During the first trimester, I didn't go through any morning sickness, just some occasional nausea which I could deal with. I'm a baby when it comes to throwing up. I hate it, but then... who does? Anyway, I'm a few weeks into my second trimester and the worst thing that has happened besides the occasional headache has been numbing of my legs. The baby has decided to prop itself on a nerve, causing my legs to feel like pins and needles. I've been doing some stretching and adjusting the way I sleep but it doesn't help. Looks like I'm going to have to wait this one out til he/she decides to move it's stubborn little butt off the effected nerve!

I've also started feeling little movements. Nothing huge, they remind me of muscle spasms. Like the little twitches one gets on their arm/leg or even their eye? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Those pesky things. But deep inside my belly. Which, as long as they are baby movements I'm good! If my muscles are twitching in there, then that's just weird. Around week 14 I seemed to have my first pop out of the stomach. I rounded out a bit, which was nice. I'm still hovering that fine line between looking like I've just put on 10lbs though, which is interesting. I've actually lost weight so far, but I've been eating healthy and my doctor isn't worried, so I'm just going to continue on doing what I'm doing. Judging from my facebook groups that I've joined, women do a big pop around 20 weeks, which is coming up for me. I can't wait.

We also find out the sex this week! That's something else huge. Sam's really pushing for a boy. Swears by it. I'm not sure though. I've always wanted a boy first. Truthfully, we'd both be happy as long as he or she is strong and healthy. Everyone always asks me, "Do you have any feelings to what it is yet?" And my answer hasn't changed. Nope. I don't. For some reason, I haven't been swayed one way or the other by my own feelings. I really just don't know. However, now that we're on the week we find out, I'm more excited then ever, and I'm hoping it's a boy. Just because I'd love to see the big smile plastered on Sam's face in the room when the tech tells us it's a boy. 

Hm... has there been anything else huge happen since I last posted? I don't believe so. I'm not working, out of school, pregnant and staying at home. Yepp. Covered it all. I did apply for a few teaching positions at different colleges in town. (Of course not the one I went to, duh.) It would be awesome to hear back, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Not like I have any experience teaching, although, I would love it. There has to be some more decent teachers in the psychology field out there. I'd like to be one of them. 

So, I always end these by saying I'm going to post more often. I think this time, I'm going to mean it. Since I'm home all the time, I'm going to have more free time. And then with a little one, this may just turn into a Mommy blog, but I will try not to bore you. This has been a good life-style blog of Ashley. From feelings, to foods, to school, and now family. It's everything I could pour my heart into. Thanks for being here to read it. 

And this has been another Wild Whisper, just for you.

Mac Book Air.

Whoa. Just... whoa. 

Today I switched over to Mac from PC. And it's quite interesting to learn. When I was about 13 I had my Mom's old Mac Laptop that was an old work computer of hers... lets just say if you saw it now you wouldn't know what it was. Anyway, I haven't had a Mac since, it's been all about the PC and I've thoroughly enjoyed them. There was no major reason for switching, other then getting a really great deal. 

Right now this Air was on sale at one of the local big box places in my town, and on top of it being on sale since I am a student I also received $100 off instantly.... big plus in my opinion! My wallet was happy with that. Not to mention I'm going to be starting my internship at the end of the month and I was really wanting something MUCH lighter then the huge 17" laptop that I was carrying around that I had received as a graduation present from High School. That reliable lady still works, which is coming in handy for saving all my bookmarked pages and transferring over all my pictures.

On top of trying to switch everything over I'm also debating whether or not to start on my "homework" that is due... tomorrow. But, all else fails and I don't get to it tonight I can just work on it tomorrow during the day before I head to class. Yay for night classes! 

Sorry about this pathetic little update. Once I've got everything caught up and transferred over I'm going to have to make a much longer update about my life. Nothing major has happened thus far, which can either be good or bad. 

One update, this past weekend my mother and I went to a family wedding. My cousin Molly got married, big shout out to Mr. & Mrs. Veenhoven. (I hope I spelled that right.) It was a beautiful ceremony and both bride and groom looked so happy the entire time. It was great. :) 

February Update.

I really shouldn't commit to doing these blog posts on a regular schedule. If there is anything I have learned from past experiences, is that I get way too busy to be a regular blog poster. From now on, I will post when I can post... because being a Graduate Student, or any type of Student at the college level, is hard enough on it's own.

I'm over my first semester of grad school, and I've got to say, I'm pretty proud of myself. I was definitely tested during my first semester through one of my classes. I really despise research classes. It's something that I really do not want to do in my future. I will not ever research something that I do not find interesting. It really isn't worth my time. I will do this through school because I am made to, however I do not plan on doing this in my career in the future. At least, I pray I do not have to. If I do... I will be screwed. 

So far this semester only one class has been testing my abilities as a future counselor, however, I have to keep reminding myself that this is only my second semester as a grad student and I should not expect myself to be an expert already... even though it seems like I am the only inexperienced person with counseling in my class. Almost every single person in the class with me is already in the field, which definitely causes some insecurities within my head. However, I am a great will minded person, and I do not give up, so I will proceed! Hopefully.... I mean, I will! 

On a happier note, I am fully enjoying my two other classes, which is odd because I really thought the class that I am having difficulties would be my favorite, and the other two I would have difficulties in... the world works in mysterious ways doesn't it? I do have to interview a professional in my field, which I am trying to set up now even though the paper over the interview is not due until almost the end of this semester, which is in April. I just like to stay on top of things, that way I can prevent future stress from taking over. Stress = no good. If you didn't already know that. ;) 

So, I have a list of things I need to accomplish for school before February 27th. I need to do a take home test, write a one page paper, video record a counseling session between myself and another classmate, write a verbatim sheet on everything that was said, and then also make sure the video is perfect for the classroom viewing, and... I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Seem's like a lot on my plate, but I've got a few days and everything is scheduled so I have faith in myself that I can get everything done. :) 

Why do I need to get all that done by the 27th of February you ask? Well, because starting March 2nd  (the following week) my husband and I are going to be taking a vacation with my mother and sister. We will be traveling to Myrtle Beach for a week long stay in a Resort Condo! We're all extremely excited about this, even though the weather isn't going to be the hottest. I'd actual prefer a little cooler beachy vacation then a sweaty hot nasty one. I'm not a fan of overly hot weather. My allergies tend to act up, which puts a damper on EVERYTHING. Any who, we're going to be driving across to South Carolina. I'm so excited to drive through NC and SC on the way. Since we want to eventually move to one of those states, it's going to be nice to see how the weather stands up, and the scenery. 

Speaking of weather, this winter has really taken a beating to really all of the states! Here in Indiana it's been especially brutal. Lets just say, I'm ready for the 5 foot snow piles lining my driveway and streets to melt away!! I don't remember what green grass looks like! It's quite sad. I've even caught myself getting excited for days where it gets up to 20 degrees, which is pathetic! We've been stuck around the negatives with this "Polar Vortex" hitting us day after day, but I think we're going to start breaking out of it! It's currently 26 degrees outside... at 10:51pm.... so that's a good sign!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for warmer weather! Not too warm though... remember, I don't like excessive heat! I'd be happy with no higher then 80 degrees. :)

And this has been another Wild Whisper, just for you.